The First Noel
by Jessica Knorr
Summary: Christmas time strikes our two favorite alien hunters will they survive? cowritten with Paranoid Jess


# The First Noel

By 

Jessica Mabile

Jessica Knorr

****

(Paranoid Jess & Jesikangel to you, humanoid scum!)

_

# It's a damned shame Cade and Eddie belong to Chris, not us. If they did, there'd be a lot more fluff & brotherly love & hugging and stuff like that….Or, is it a good reason that they aren't ours??

_ _There'd be fights over who'd have to go to school and who'd to stay home to take care of Cade when get gets sick for sure! _****

Please R&R. **PG 13** for **language**. We've been baaaaaaaaaaad….

[paranoid_jess@yahoo.com][1], [sublitluv@hotmail.com][2]

# "Come on Eddie, you know me!" 

# "Foster, do you realize how much snow is out there? Man, it's ten below, Fahrenheit! That means that fifteen minutes of exposure, and your skin'll freeze...I can't think of what'll happen if you get LOST!" 

Cade Foster tightened the heavy winter jacket he'd ripped off from a department store a few days back and made sure he could get his gun with his large gloves on. Eddie Nambulous, his best friend, sat, his sweater hanging off his bony frame like a circus tent. A mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and caffeine pills floating in the frothy goodness sat steaming between the earphones of his telephone headset. His dark eyebrow was etched high, concern and paranoia shining like Christmas bulbs in his eyes. It was December 22; the string of colored lights that was already strung around within the trailer was plugged in. Many had blown their filaments, and only small patches of color were lit between wide spaces of darkness. 

"Man, it's almost Christmas! Stay! I'll microwave ya a can of Jolt, we can sing carols off the computer. It's not worth it!" 

"There's a contact living out there, Eddie. God knows who'd live in the middle of Wisconsin, but I'm going out to find her, okay? If I'm not back by the time you hear sleigh bells crushing the satellite dish, panic. But regardless of the temperature or how high the snow is, I'm outta here. All right? I have the phone with me, and as soon as I find the house, I'll call. Have a good night, Eddie."

Eddie knew that Foster wouldn't be stopped, especially if there was a potential believer who saw something Gua-related in the woods surrounding them. Wisconsin in the dead of winter, GREAT place to be. Despite his urges to duct tape him to the seat and drive off to Florida for Christmas, Eddie stayed put, against his better judgement. He turned his head to the side and looked under his desk to avoid seeing his best friend surely walk to his death, then he spied something; the thermos he always had handy. Sometimes it had his special Hacker's Brew in, sometimes his Jolt, coffee...even oil that he used for the Caddy. Now it housed a whole six cups of steaming Java. The paranoid scooped it up, called to Cade and through it to him.

"Y'know what, Foster?" 

"What?" 

"I was right, back in New York; you really are a reckless son-of-a-bitch." Cade shuffled out and didn't look back. And with each passing minute that didn't head a call, Eddie's mind became more and more awash with images of a Twice Blessed Popsicle sitting out there just beyond the clearing that housed the trailer. 

'SONOFABITCH!!!'

It was four hours later, and Eddie had heard not a word from Cade. He was starting to get really worried... 

...and the blizzard outside didn't help matters.

Eddie thought he would go nuts, until the phone rang. 

"FOSTER!!! What the hell..."

"Dammit! I cannot believe this...Eddie? It started blizzarding..."

"I know! Are you okay, Foster?" 

"Umm..." 

"You're lost, ain't ya?" 

"I'm within a mile of the trailer, that much I know. Then the storm started, and I kind of can't see which way..." 

"Where are you?" 

"Remember the big dumb looking sign we passed? Right by it." 

"I'm on my way." "What! Listen to me, Eddie. You are NOT to leave that trailer. I don't need you getting lost too! I can't even see my hand in front of my face, how do you expect to find me?" 

"I can't just leave you out there!" 

"You can and you will!" Eddie heard a click. 'Dammit!' 

He heard the howling of the wind begin to lessen, and looked outside. The storm had let up and it was just snowing, but Eddie knew how fickle blizzards are. He didn't really give a damn-it was now or never.

***

Cade hung up the phone, cursing his rotten luck. 'Lost in a blizzard...this I do not fucking believe.' 

He looked up as the storm suddenly let up, and got up to continue his trek home...

...or tried to. Cade found himself unable to move his legs. All he could do was move his arms. 

'Fuck!' 

He was thinking this not only because of being unable to get up, but also because he knew how fickle breaks in blizzards are, and he knew Eddie would come out to look for him.

'If he does...' 

Cade stopped all thought processes...that was supposed to be SPOKEN. 

'Great. Now I can't talk. 'As if to add to his troubles, his eyelids started feeling excessively heavy. He found himself unable to keep them up. He didn't try. Cade laid down in the snow and promptly passed out. 

****

***

Eddie drove up to the big dumb sign and pulled to the side of the road. It had taken him a while to get just this one mile, time which was spent following the plow-truck. 

He got out of the Caddie and saw, to his horror, a black lump right beneath the sign. He ran to it and turned it over. 

"Foster!" 

His friend was white-faced and ice cold to the touch. Eddie felt for a pulse and breathed a heavy sigh of relief when he found one. 

Seeing no other option, he cracked his knuckles, placed one arm under Cade's knees and the other behind his back, and lifted his friend into his arms. Eddie was a lot stronger than most people thought. 

Cade stirred a bit, opening his eyes about halfway and looked at Eddie. They held eye contact for a moment, then, with visible effort, Cade slung both arms around Eddie's neck and passed out again. 

'Shit.' 

"Foster, I am sooooo kicking your ass when you're better." 

Eddie carried Cade back to the Caddie. He opted to put him in the front seat rather than leaving him in the back to get colder. Eddie started the car and drove back to the Airstream, carrying Cade inside and shutting the door just as the blizzard started up again. 

Eddie kicked open the trailer with a bit of difficulty, and steadied himself and Foster against it. The snow was coming in white sheets of blinding fluff again. Cade was starting to thaw slightly and was shivering now, but Eddie hadn't checked to see if he had, in fact, been subjected to frostbite. He gently eased his frozen amigo onto the little orange sofa below the window and fetched the blankets from his bed to wrap around him. Eddie knew that he couldn't apply direct heat to Foster, because then that would just murder his skin, so best to let the electric heater in the trailer and his own body warmth defrost him. Eddie went over to the thermometer and turned it up a notch, not only to help Cade but himself as well, then he returned to his computer chair and watched the results of his mothering. 

After about another hour of watching the ice melt out of Cade's hair, off his skin and the puddle under him grow quite big, the color started to return to his face. He looked less and less willing to drop dead of heart failure, and even his eyes began darkening. When he'd first found Cade, Eddie had seen that they'd turned to a deathly ice blue. Now they were rapidly changing back to their normal, intense royal. 

Foster's eyes were weird to him; they always seemed to dip between shades depending on his moods. Or, it was just Eddie's own imagination. Foster's face was flushed with the cold but his shivering seemed to lessen. And then he actually started to smile, pulling the blankets into him more and more for comfort rather than warmth. 

"I've always hated it when you were right, Eddie." 

"Don't ya? Cause I usually am..." 

"Okay Eddie, that's enough." 

"Yeah, I s'pose, what with you being half dead and all..." 

Eddie got a Look for that one. "Not funny." 

"It wasn't meant to be. You scared me, man." 

Cade gave him a thoughtful look. "Eddie, I'm really sorry. I didn't think I would be so long! Then it started storming, and..." 

"You think I don't know that? I was worrying my ass off, man! And if you ever do something like that again, I'll kill you myself!" 

Cade was surprised at Eddie reaction. He was expecting a 'You okay, Foster?' 'Yeah, I'm fine.' And that would be the end of it. But this...Eddie was practically hysterical! He could understand him being worried, but this was ridiculous! 

Well, maybe not. After all, he'd damn near died of exposure. He supposed Eddie was entitled to his hysteria. 

Cade sat up on the couch, blankets still pulled around him, and continued scrutinizing Eddie. He saw how pale his friend was--his lips were tinged with a sick bluish color and he was shaking. "Eddie, you've just been sitting here watching me this whole time? You didn't even get a blanket for yourself?" 

"I wasn't out there that long, the heater's 'nuff." 

Eddie earned another Look for that. 

Cade lifted the blankets. "Get your ass over here." 

Eddie complied, climbing under the pile of blankets, settling quite nicely. 

After a while, they were both sound asleep, with Cade leaning against the back of the couch and Eddie asleep on Cade's shoulder. 

Cade awoke on the 23rd to the soft clacking of computer keys. As usual, Eddie was up and going long before the Twice Bless'd Man was. Call it a habit, Cade could never get out of bed before nine, unless Hannah had literally dragged him out. 

The paranoid tipped his Jolt can up and drank of the sweet liquor leaking from it. Cade coughed once, making him fumble, spilling it onto himself. "Dammit Foster! Make a little noise once in a while! Like, snore, or something." 

"Sorry man," he apologized, laughing softly. Eddie swiveled around and glowered, ringing out his gray sweatshirt. "Whatchu doin', Eddie? It's not even 8." 

"I know. I got up to go to the little hacker's room and couldn't get back to sleep. I've been tracking that email since 4 AM. And you know what I found out?" 

"What?" 

"Our mysterious contact is no longer a mystery...she didn't even exist." 

Cade's forehead furrowed. He moved his hands around inside of the wool mittens Eddie had supplied while he thawed out the night before and wriggled his toes in the matching socks-or matching pairs, 2 for each foot. Then he looked back up at his friend, who was now sucking the beverage out of his shirt. 

"What...?" 

"I traced, and traced, and traced some more. Found the ISP in Milwaukee. Unfortunately, the account was terminated just after I'd gone out to haul your frozen butt back in. I'm wagering dollars to deep-fryers that this was either a test or a trap." 

"What was the test?"

"No idea...the latter is the one I'm sticking with. Maybe they planned on letting Mother Nature turn you into an ice cube so they could bring you in without you knowing or killing any more of them?" 

Cade nodded, looking to his woolen feet. "Maybe." Eddie tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair. After several dull and silent moments, he finally piped up once more. 

"Speakin' of Mommy Nature, Foster..." Eddie cleared his throat, a bit nervous to be asking, "Do you remember your mom, you 'n her at Christmas, at all?" The alien hunter looked back up, and nodded slowly again.

"Figgie pudding, chestnuts on the open fire, turkey...?" 

"Hockey." Eddie gave him a confused look. 

"Every Christmas from the time I was old enough to skate by myself until she died, Mom, Uncle Harry and me always had a tournament for the kids in my school at the pond in our backyard. They-the crowds-grew smaller and smaller when Pete joined us, and then when Mom started getting sick. Then she...finally gave out. She died on my twelfth birthday. Didn't have a game that year, barely had a Christmas. My stepfather gave me the wedding rings he'd found in her drawers and then he threw his in the garbage." 

"And that's when you stepped over the tracks." 

"Got stuck and slammed into by the train." 

"Ouch...whadda 'bout your dad? Why'd your mom remarry some drunken jerk?" 

"Never met my dad. He was in the war; before Mom even knew she was pregnant. He got called away after the honeymoon and she never saw him again, except for pictures." 

"Damn, man." Eddie drank what was left of his Jolt. 

"Even when I was little Larry P., I knew war wasn't going to do anyone anything good." 

"So what about you, Eddie?" Cade clenched his hands and wrapped his blanket a bit tighter around his shoulders. "You know everything from my step-father's name to the date of the night that me and Dannie got drunk and pulled off a Rolex heist. I know jack 'bout you. How about your family? What'd the Pisinksis do for Christmas?" 

Eddie smirked and nailed the three pointer from center court with the can into the recycling. 

"Traditional, y'know. Big sis and me got a present each on the 2-4 from Grampa George and Gramma Lucy. Dad and my college-bound bro would chug the eggnog till they passed out, mom would clean up the messes. Then we'd all get around the fireplace with marshmallows on the fire stokers and make s'mores, with chestnuts too." 

Cade's nose crinkled in disgust. 

"What?? They were good!" 

"Remind me to thank your mom for giving you all those recipes that gave me food poisoning." 

"Hey!" Eddie looked around and grabbed the little stuffed Santa off the top of his computer, then whipped it at Cade, who ducked and grabbed the jolly fat man in midair. "Good catch." 

"Thanks." Cade sent it back, and it smashed into Eddie's face with a loud squeak. "Gotcha back, sucker." 

"That's it Foster. Twice Bless'd or not, let's see you survive the invasion of the stress toys!"

The hacker grabbed up his plastic hamburger and landed it right between Cade's eyes, then threw everything in subsequent order from his squishy-computer to the toy Cow he had sitting behind the monitor. Cade waged back with pillows from his sofa and the Stuffed Missiles Of Death. Soon, the two grown men were furiously smacking one another with the toys. Each time a cry from a hit or a squeak rang out, the other would cheer. Then they began calling out numbers, keeping score of how many times they connected. The door to the trailer was pounded on loudly, and it swung open a bit. A slender, black policewoman and her partner stepped inside in snowgear, with blankets, thermoses and a heater to find Cade, standing on the sofa in his four pairs of socks and mittens, the blanket having been cast away as a nuisance, about to belt his best friend with the hamburger. Eddie was preparing to counterattack with his toy mouse. Both were sweating, flushed and breathing hard from the game. 

The officers peered oddly at the bizarre display. Cade lowered his arms slowly and turned away, hoping against hope they wouldn't ID him as the FBI's ninth most wanted man. The woman was the first to speak since they'd stopped. 

"Did...someone call the forest ranger for an emergency?" 

Cade and Eddie gave each other a warning look, and looked back at the policewoman... 

*BANG!!! BANG!!!* 

Cade and Eddie watched as the two officers dissolved into a red quivery goo. 

"How the hell did you know?" 

"Whaddya mean, 'How'd I know'? You're in contact with these things damn near every day, and you can't tell yet? And how many times have I been in direct contact? Two? Three? I guess I just remember detail better than you...cause you can look in someone's eyes and tell whether or not they're human." 

Eddie finished his speech. 

Cade just stared.

"Hey, ya learn to pick 'em." 

"Yeah, I noticed something odd, but..." 

"See? You're learning." 

"Don't give me that." 

"What?" 

"That 'I'm the King of All Human Knowledge' voice. As far as I'm concerned, you are, but at least don't talk like it!" 

"Well, thanks for the compliment, but..." 

Cade never saw the Cow coming. "HA!!! My twenty-nine to your eighteen!!!" 

"Why you little..." 

Cade grabbed the little hamburger and the Cow. 

They continued well into the night, throwing toys around and letting off some steam. 

__

***The next morning, Dec. 24*** 

Understandably, both men were up late the next morning, as they had been up until 4 in the morning with the Stress Toy War... 

...with Cade unwilling to admit defeat. 

They resumed the argument when they woke up. "I didn't lose..." 

"Yes you did, Foster! I kicked your ass!" 

"...okay, I lost. But you did NOT kick my ass!" 

"Foster, it was my hundred thirty two to your sixty five. I KICKED YOUR ASS." 

Refusing to admit defeat, Cade sat back on the couch, grabbing up the blanket. It had been two days since he'd almost frozen to death, and he was feeling pretty much okay, considering. Except he always felt a little chilly, like when a fan's on HIGH in a room during late fall. He buried himself under the blanket and subsequently got a healthy scrutinizing from Eddie. 

"You okay, man?" 

"Yeah, just a little cold. Been like that since I got stuck out there."

"That's understandable." 

Eddie got up, and turned up they heater a few notches.

"Heh heh, it's Christmas Eve. Do I get a present?" 

"You mean the grace of my presence isn't enough? Kidding, yeah I gotcha one. And no, I ain't tellin'!" 

"Neither am I." 

"Hey, I get one too? COOL!" 

Eddie looked out of the window. The blizzard had raged half of yesterday and all of the day before. The ground was covered in God only knew how much snow. 

The rest of the day was spent relatively calmly...except for the resurfacing of a squabble... 

"I'm tellin ya, you did NOT have a hundred thirty two! Eighty, at most." "Shut up! I kept count!! I had a hundred thirty two, you had sixty five, and that's the end of it!!"

Cade stuck out his tongue at Eddie, and earned a Look and a raspberry in return. "Admit it, Foster. You're no match." 

"...alright, I ADMIT IT!" 

"That's better." 

Eddie gave a triumphant look then grimaced.

"What?" 

"I need a new chair. This thing makes my back hurt." 

"You're just noticing that? I had to sit in that torture device while you were at you reunion, and my back hurt for five days!" 

"I'll get a new one as soon as we can get outta here. Push over, I'm sitting on the couch." 

Cade complied. They sat in companionable silence for a long time, until about 9 PM, then Cade spoke up. 

"So, what'd ya get me?" 

"You'll see tomorrow." 

"Okay, I deserved that." 

They sat there for a bit longer, then they both started yawning. "Gimme an end of that." 

Cade threw an end of the blanket over to Eddie, who tossed it lazily over himself. All was well, until... 

"Foster, quit hogging the covers."

"I am NOT hogging the covers!" 

"Yes you are...wait a sec, I gotta change positions anyway. This is just uncomfortable." 

Eddie shifted around a bit, finally ending up with his knees over the side of the couch, and using Cade's leg for a pillow. 

Cade looked down at his friend. "Are you comfortable?" 

"Yes, quite." 

Cade gave a mock-exasperated sigh, and went back to sleep. Eddie wasn't far behind. 

*** 

Cade awoke to...he didn't know what. He just woke up to see Eddie, still asleep using his leg for a pillow, apparently caught up in a nightmare. 

'Oh, that's fucking wrong. Nightmares on Christmas Eve? Not for MY friend.' 

"Eddie!" he whispered.

He received no response. He hadn't expected to. 

Cade caught one of Eddie's hands and wrapped both of his own around it. Almost immediately Eddie's shudders began to lessen, and his eyes opened for a few moments. 

Eddie gave Cade a half-lidded gaze. 

"Wha..." 

"Shhh. It's just a nightmare." The clock struck midnight. Eddie looked up at Cade in a tired gaze, dark eyes shining brightly. 

"Merry Christmas, Foster." "Merry Christmas, Eddie." 

Eddie tossed his free arm around Cade's neck, and Cade pulled his friend close. 

"Cade..." 

"Shh. Go back to sleep now." 

"'kay." Eddie settled back on Cade's leg, his breathing evening out into the deep rhythm of sleep. Cade maintained his hold on his friend's hand, and after a few minutes making sure Eddie wasn't going to have another nightmare, fell deeply asleep himself. Theirs was akin to the sleep of the dead, but there was a different element about it. 

Eddie's was the sleep of the reassured. Cade's was the sleep of secure knowledge. 

The knowledge that no demons would haunt his friend this night, this Christmas Day.

   [1]: mailto:Paranoid_jess@yahoo.com
   [2]: sublitluv@hotmail.com



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